Testing and Certification
This site not tested on animals, except for two cats. All pages are gluten-free, Non-GMO, hypoallergenic, vegan, vegetarian, kosher, MSG free. Void where prohibited. No representation or warranty, express or implied, with respect to the completeness, accuracy, fitness for a particular purpose, or utility of these materials or any information or opinion contained herein. Pages may not display correctly with Chrome versions less than Version 368.0.3359.181, FireFox versions less than Version 182.3234, Opera versions less than The Marriage of Figaro, or Explorer versions less than Vasco Nunez de Balboa. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or events, past, present or future, is purely coincidental. Batteries not included. Use only as directed. Read at your own risk. Ask your doctor or pharmacist if this webpage is right for you. Parental guidance is not advised. No preservatives or additives. Keep away from angry pets and dirty children. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Must be 18 years or older or younger. No artificial color or flavor added. May contain or be prepared by nuts.
Pages Only Contain General Information
These pages provide general information, not legal advice. We do not provide legal advice, representation, or referrals, nor can we answer questions about individual cases. If you have an attorney, you should talk to your attorney about the law and your case and not rely on information found on these pages, but your attorney may be interested in information found on these pages and should be interested in books listed on these pages.
We do our best to provide useful and accurate information about the law; however, please remember that laws change. We do not have the resources to make changes to these pages every time the law changes, nor can we afford to contact defendants or respond to questions. If you use these pages, you should make sure that the law has not changed since the pages were created.
In addition, different people can have differing opinions as to the meaning of a law. If you have questions about the law and how laws may affect your case, ask an attorney who has expertise in criminal law. If you want legal advice about your case, hire a lawyer to address your specific legal issues. Don’t ask us. If you use these pages for any purpose, it is your responsibility to make sure that the law applies to your situation.
Lack of Qualifications
The owner of this page, Victor VeVea (Victor the Great and Powerful), is not an attorney, and nothing on these pages should be construed as legal advice or an offer to provide any sort of legal services. Nearly all services provided by Victor are only provided to attorneys or through court appointments. Although some pages, forms, instructions, and/or videos have been prepared by and/or reviewed by real attorneys before being posted here, you should not even rely on these. Use this and our other web pages simply as a starting point, but check with a real attorney before taking any legal action.
The total qualifications, education, and experience claimed by the owner of this webpage in relation to the material herein are summarized in the following statement from the author: “I have watched My Cousin Vinny and Legally Blonde numerous times. I own and someday hope to read, half-a-dozen John Grisham books. I have been specially summoned to court and, immediately upon arrival, awarded a Juror Badge.”
What personal data we collect and why we collect it
We don’t collect anything, but you can give us your name and e-mail address if you like. We don’t want to get into your personal business – it’s your business. However, if you ask us to help you complete legal forms, we will ask for your information to complete the forms, but we don’t save the information. Conversely, law enforcement is always collecting information, so remember – you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you, but not by us and that attorney may be good or great (like most Kern County Public Defenders) or may be pathetic and incompetent. Be wary of substitutes and imposters, such as those going by names like Marc, Gary, or Edgar. Personal data includes, but is not limited to, social security number, pokemon trainer level, weight, shoe size, and complete audio recording of everything said or done in your home as recorded by home automation devices, such as Alexa, Google Home, and other such systems. No allegation or implication is made that such devices actually record or monitor any conversations or personal activities taking place in the privacy of your own home. These devices probably do not spy on you and Mark Zuckerberg is probably not a robot or lizard overlord who knows everything about you.
The law constantly changes, so the legal authority on these pages may be out of date. The author may also be out of date, out of touch, or out of sorts. Watch out.
Don’t ask us for legal advice. Ask an attorney.
I am a paralegal and a Licensed Document Assistant (LDA). I can help you prepare papers, but I cannot advise you what papers to file.
To speak with an attorney for free, consider one of the free, local legal help seminars found at KernSeminars.com.
LDA Disclosures Pursuant to Business and Professions Code §6410.5
This is Victor VeVea DBA Legal Research Services, Bakersfield Paralegal, Bakersfield Divorce and/or More Alive. We offer Legal Document Assistant services, books, computer consulting, and related services to the public. We also offer legal research, legal writing, and paralegal services to attorneys. I am not an attorney I cannot represent you in court, advise you about your legal rights or the law, or select legal forms for you. I am registered as LDA #122 in Kern County, and my registration expires 1/23/2022.
NOTICE TO CONSUMER
DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING BEFORE YOU READ THIS PAGE In the first conversation when you contacted legal document assistant (me), did he explain that he is not an attorney and Legal Research Services, Bakersfield Paralegal, Bakersfield Divorce, and More Alive are NOT law firms.
- I cannot represent you in court.
- I cannot advise you about your legal rights or the law.
- I cannot select legal forms for you.
I am registered in Kern County and the registration number is 122. My registration is valid until 1/23/2020, after which it must be renewed. To confirm that I am registered, you may contact the Kern County clerk’s office at 1115 Truxtun Ave # 5th, Bakersfield, CA 93301 or by phone at (661)868-3588 or on their webpage, www.kerncountyclerk.com.